Writers Worth: That Other F Word

Cathy Miller is my phone buddy.

It’s not unusual for the phone to ring and for Cathy to be on the other end. We’d spent many years in what I call a Writer Gang — Jenn Mattern, Yo Prinzel, Cathy, and me. It transitioned easily to phone calls. And boy, do we talk!

Typically we do our griping about client issues, but we also share our day-to-day. I know her family, and she knows mine. I’ve even talked briefly with her mom, whom I’d felt I already knew.

She’s good people, this Cathy Miller. And she’s a wonderful friend.

She’s also a writer with great positioning — she promises writing that’s to the point. Simple. Good, clean writing that gets the job done well — I’d hire her!

She’s also one who’s had her share of fear to beat back. Here’s how she’s handled it.

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Writer’s Worth and the F Word (No, Not That One)

By Cathy Miller

Fear. Even the sound of the word can send a writer’s heart racing. Nothing messes with a writer’s worth more than fear. What is it we’re so afraid of?

Let’s examine common fear-based feelings writers may buy into and how to put fear in perspective.

Fear This?

Fear kept me at a corporate career far longer than I intended. So, I understand the power it can hold. First, let’s list a few of those fears. We’ll put them right out there. You can peek through your hands covering your eyes, if you’d like.

• Fear of failure – This double F-phrase prevents new writers from taking that first step. We cling to corporate jobs or never move from part-time freelancing. We don’t go after that coveted gig (or client).
• Fear of rejection – So you muster up the courage to take that first step – then *gasp* –  the client says – no, thanks. Or some don’t answer at all. It must be your fault.
• Fear of inexperience – You know you’re a good writer, but you never wrote for clients before or ran a business. What the heck do you know about clients and taxes?
• Fear of finding clients – In your corporate job, you never had to go looking for clients. How do you find them all on your own? Especially, the good ones that pay well.
• Fear of competition – Sometimes it feels like everyone is freelancing. How are you supposed to stand out in a crowd of writers? And probably a bunch with more experience.

Sound familiar? You may have other fears, but most of us have experienced one or all five Fs. So, what do you do about them?

Fear Not

Fear is not a bad thing. Some of us should have more of it in our youth. Fear is your alarm signal for danger. Our friends at Merriam-Webster define it this way.

“An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger”

Anticipation. Ah, there’s the rub. That’s the element that chokes away possibilities. Remember, fear is your alarm signal. Have you ever had your car alarm go off when there was no danger of a break-in? Think about your writing fear as that misfiring car alarm.

So, what can you do to silence that faulty fear? Here’s a three-step method I use (more or less).

1. Put a timer on your emotions – In my corporate days, conflict often reared its ugly head. I learned early in my career that my feelings are easily hurt. Knowing that about myself, I gave myself an hour to work through the emotions.

Did a potential customer reject your pitch? Write a scathing response BUT DON’T HIT SEND. Rant about it to a friend. Cry, scream, or take a walk. Be hurt, mad, or whatever your emotions need. THEN STOP. One hour. That’s it. If you catch yourself meandering down the pity path – STOP. Time’s up.

2. Take a baby step. You’ve seen babies take their first step. They teeter. They may fall, but if they do, they do it all over again. A favorite mantra of mine is – even baby steps move you forward. So, whatever the fear, take a baby step to move you forward.

• Does your fear of failure paralyze you? You’re a writer. Create a story where your fear is the monster. You are the lead character of the story. It’s up to you to slay the monster. How does your story unfold?
• Do you fear you’ll never be hired due to your lack of experience? You want to write case studies, but don’t know how. Do your research. What are the best sources for what you need to learn? Don’t have many writing samples? Start a business blog to showcase your writing skills. It’s a great baby step until you gain more.

3. Try the 5-second rule – Best-selling author, Mel Robbins, wrote a book about her 5-second rule. Her TEDx Talk, “How to stop screwing yourself over,” has over 13 million views. I love the simplicity of her rule and enjoyed her presentation. Check them out.

Robbins’s site describes her 5-second rule this way:

“The moment you feel yourself hesitate (when you know you should do something) start counting backward 5-4-3-2-1, then GO… The rule acts as a ‘starting ritual’ that breaks bad habits and triggers positive new behavior change.”

The method is a sneaky way to beat your brain before it scrolls all your excuses for not doing something.

• You have an idea for an article you think fits a targeted magazine’s theme – 5-4-3-2-1, GO pitch your idea to the editor
• You’ve always wanted to be a conference speaker – 5-4-3-2-1, GO fill out a speaker proposal to a preferred conference
• You want to freelance full time – 5-4-3-2-1, GO turn in your two-week notice to your day job

If you GO before those excuses kick in, you’ll silence the faulty fear alarm. It may occasionally go off, but at least you know how to turn off the incessant blare.

No method is fool-proof (another F word). We will fail, we will be rejected. But, once we get beyond the paralysis fear can cause, we easily slay the monster.

• Know when to STOP indulging your emotions
• Take a step forward
• 5-4-3-2-1, GO!

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Cathy Miller has a business communications blog at Simply stated business. Her blog, Why 60 Miles, is inspired by her passion for walking 60 miles in 3 days to support research for finding a cure for cancer.